


The Great Beheaded Bake-Off.

by theatergirl06



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Gen, beheaded cousins!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:14:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23960647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theatergirl06/pseuds/theatergirl06
Summary: Two bored cousins, a kitchen, and no recipe. What could go wrong?
Relationships: Anne Boleyn & Katherine Howard
Comments: 7
Kudos: 75





	The Great Beheaded Bake-Off.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [musical_stan_first_human_later](https://archiveofourown.org/users/musical_stan_first_human_later/gifts).



> TW: Smoke, swearing, loud noises.

It was an ordinary Monday afternoon. It was raining that day, and they had no shows that night. In the queens’ apartment, this was often a cause for relaxation and chill time. Jane and Catherine usually picked Mondays for their day of lunch and window shopping, Cathy could probably be found holed up in her room with a book or her laptop, and Anna usually chose these long days for her various outdoor excursions, on which she would often bring other queens.

On this particular Sunday afternoon, Catherine and Jane had gone to a craft fair, Cathy was at the library, and Anna had said something about learning to drive a boat in the pouring rain. Kat had thought about going with her, but Anne had flat-out refused because of the cold, and Kat hadn't wanted to leave her cousin home alone. 

This left two extroverted, energy-filled cousins at home alone on a rainy day with nothing to do. They’d spent the morning binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy, but each of them could only take so much drama, plus there was an awful lot of blood sometimes, something that made both beheaded queens very uncomfortable, for obvious reasons. 

Anne rolled over on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. Kat flopped on top of her and stared down at the floor. Her ponytail was brushing the soft carpet, and she smiled as she watched it swish around. 

Anne groaned. “This is  _ boring as hell. _ ”

“Well what are we supposed to do about it?”   
“We’re  _ us.  _ The beheaded cousins or whatever the fuck they call us. We bring chaos and fun.

“ _ You  _ bring chaos and fun. I bring glitter. Lots of it.”

“Whatever. We should be able to think of something to do other than sitting here and staring at nothing.”   
“Anne, I love you, but if the others wouldn’t want us to try anything crazy, should we really be doing it?”   
“I never said we were going to do anything crazy!”

“With us, the crazy is a given.”

“Oh, stop being so snippy. You sound like a dead trombone.”

Kat laughed. 

There was a moment of silence.

“I’m  _ really fucking bored. _ ”

“Me too.”

Anne picked up the television remote and started flipping through the channels. All they seemed to be able to find was the news, soap operas (which Kat actually liked, but Anne absolutely hated), and weird shows about cars that had a lot of loud music. 

And suddenly, a show popped up on the television. A white tent. A grassy field. Cheery music.   
It was the Great British Bake-Off. They were making cakes.

Kat’s eyes met Anne’s.    
Anne got a smirk on her face. 

Kat grinned.

They threw themselves off the couch and sprinted towards the kitchen at top speed, laughing as their fuzzy socks (green with stripes for Anne, pink with polka dots for Kat), skidded over the wooden floors of their apartment. Both cousins loved sock sliding on the floor, but Jane had banned it within a week of their arrival in the 21st century (because of how often they crashed and broke things), and they rarely did any sock sliding now.

They were soon in the kitchen, scrambling as fast as they could to gather all the things that could potentially be cake ingredients. Kat was quite a good baker, so she tried not to laugh as she answered Anne’s questions.

“Kat, does kale go in cake?”

“Why on earth would kale go in cake, Anne?”

“Well, I could’ve just not tasted it.”

After about thirty minutes of throwing ingredients around and shouting questions across the kitchen, Anne had all of her supplies to make her fancy walnut cake (that was what they’d been trying to make on the show), Kat had her phone out and was giggling tremendously, and despite the fact that they hadn’t actually opened any of the ingredients yet, there was somehow already a pile of flour on the floor.

Kat turned on her phone camera, grinning, doing her best imitation of the hosts from the show that was still playing loudly from the television room.

“The one baker faces her toughest challenge yet. All her skills will be tested in this hour and a half long challenge. Anne, are you ready?”

“No, not at all.”

“Wonderful. Anne, the judges…” at this, Kat let out a burst of laughter. “...Anne, the judges would like you to make a walnut cake. Ready? On your marks, get set, bake!” Kat doubled over in a fit of laughter the second she finished her speech. Meanwhile, Anne was already working on mixing a batter, and (due to her complete lack of any sort of baking experience), was already having a bit of a problem. 

Kat held her phone up to her cousin’s face. “Anne, tell us about your walnut cake.”

Anne stuck out her tongue and wiggled her fingers. “My cake is, uh...a walnut cake. And, some stuff that’s weird might be in there. But that’s okay. It makes things interesting, yeah?”

Kat grinned. “Yeah, right.” She pulled her phone away, and the second she did, Anne leaned in and whispered into her cousin’s ear.

“Kat, I don’t want the camera to pick this up, but...should I put that coconut that Jane’s always using in this thing.”

“Anne, you know well that the hosts can’t tell the bakers how to bake.” She leaned in even closer. “But do you think coconut and walnut go together?”

Anne mixed her batter furiously, sending a cloud of flour flying up and landing on the floor around her feet. “I don’t know. They’re both nuts, so I guess so?”

Kat had to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing. A walnut cake was supposed to have  _ walnuts  _ in it. Not  _ coconuts. _

She loved Anne, but her complete lack of experience was absolutely hilarious. Especially if she asked her if kale went in cakes. 

She grinned at her cousin. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom. Don’t burn the building down while I’m gone!”

She heard Anne’s laugh coming from behind her as she left the kitchen. “Don’t worry! I can’t burn this orange juice, can I?”

Kat felt tears of laughter pricking at the corners of her eyes. Had Anne only ever seen Jane, or anyone really, make carrot cake?

She was just thinking about how she could probably sneak in and show Anne how to make some real walnut cupcakes when she was startled out of her thoughts by a loud beeping from the kitchen.

It was the smoke alarm.

She raced out of the bathroom and down the hall as fast as she could, all the way to the kitchen, where she found smoke pouring out of the oven, a wild smoke alarm going off like crazy, and a very panicked looking Anne jumping up and down, trying to reach it.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know! I put the cake in the oven and...this happened!”

“Call 999! I’ll get the cake out of the oven!”

“Right!”

Kat grabbed a pair of oven mitts and threw open the oven door, trying her best not to inhale the odd mixture of steam and smoke that came pouring out. Grabbing the cake tin, she discovered a pan full of mostly liquid with a few walnuts and a bit of flour floating in it. 

“Anne! How much liquid did you put in here?!”

“I dunno, some?!”

“The liquid’s boiling over into the oven! It’s steaming and the pan is smoking and it looks like our apartment is on fire!”

“The fire people are on their way, then!”

The smoke alarm continued blaring at a very loud volume. 

“Go need to get that fucking cake mix out of here!”

“Well, how do I do that?!’   
“I dunno, just get it out!”

Without thinking, Kat grabbed the pan and raced to the window, throwing the pan and all the liquid it contained out the side without a second thought. The kitchen window was above more than a few balconies, so it was incredibly unlikely that the falling cake liquid would hurt anyone. It did, however, attract many shouts of irritation from pretty much everyone else in the building. Even from her position inside the apartment on the top floor, Kat could still hear the cries of “What the hell?!” and “Get this thing away from me!” and “There’s smoke! We’re all gonna die!” very clearly. 

As Anne raced around the kitchen trying to fan the smoke away with a dishrag, Kat went to look at the oven some more. She groaned. 

“Anne?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re supposed to put the oven on bake, not broil.”

“Oh.” There was a pause. Anne opened her mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by the shouts from outside again.

As the shouts grew louder and louder along with the still-blaring smoke alarm, there was a knock at the door.

Anne ran to answer it. “Oh, are you the fire people? Thank god. We  _ need  _ to turn off this smoke alarm!”

Of course, that was the exact moment Kat saw Jane and Aragon walk in. As fast as she could, she bolted into the hallway and right into the first and third queens, plastering a huge smile on her face.

“Heeey Catherine! Hi Jane! How was the craft fair?”

Jane smiled. “It was wonderful. We even found these pink jeweled hoop earrings for you!”

Kat groaned. Why did they have to be so  _ nice? _

“OkaysoAnneandImayhavetriedtobakeandcausedatonofchaosdon’thatemeplease!” 

Catherine cocked her head, confused, but Jane completely understood.

“All right,” she said calmly. “Show us the trouble.”

And that was when Jane and Catherine saw the smoke pouring out of the door, the fire people all over the apartment, the neighbors shouting from every nook and cranny in the apartment building.

And in front of it all were two very sheepish looking beheaded cousins.

Catherine stared them in the eyes. “What. Did. You. Do?”

Katherine blushed and took a deep breath. “Okay, so we were watching the Great British Bake-Off, and we thought _ we _ should try baking, you know? Because we were bored. So we tried it, but Anne didn’t know how to bake and I left her alone for a minute and then…” she gestured to the chaos around her, “this happened.”

The two queens looked around, trying not to laugh. Yes, the cousins had caused quite a bit of mayhem, but they’d done worse, and this was clearly an accident.   
Catherine smiled. “Alright, ladies. If you don’t want to get in trouble for this, there’s only one thing you need to do.”

“What is it?” said the cousins at the same time.

Jane smiled. Catherine grinned.    
“For God’s sake, Kat, just don’t let Anne back into that kitchen on her own again.”

“Not unless I want to burn down the building!”

“One day when I get in there anyway, you will all regret this.”

At last, the smoke alarm stopped blaring. Kat laughed. Anne joined in. Soon they were all laughing. 

The neighbors yelled. The fire people got them to be quiet. The queens got their apartment back.

A rather quiet end to such a chaotic day. Things were normal. Almost.

Jane was confused to find no liquids in the refrigerator the next morning.


End file.
